What do I want my kids to learn!

Note: This post is written in response to a blogger group writing exercise on "Things one should learn in life other than academics. What's your take on it?"

Kids learn. That's the only primary objective of childhood/young-adulthood.
What do I want my kids to learn - Values & Emotional Intelligence!

Me and my spouse have passed Values to our kids and are proud of our kids' ethics level. We only pray that it stays with them untainted.

What I covet for my kids to learn now is emotional intelligence/Quotient.
EQ's definition from web is
"Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict."

A person with high EQ is at peace within himself/herself. That is what I want my children to have when they grow up. EQ would enable them to deal well with the world outside and be content with it.

There has been some side effect of passing on good values. My kids don't hit back when other kids (playmates/cousins) hit them. Besides them needing to learn some karate blocking techniques they need to learn EQ to come out from this episode without a scarring.

My 6 year old could very easily empathize with others. When we were telling her a story about how Lord Vishnu saved an Elephant from the grips of a crocodile, her instant answer was "Now what will the crocodile do for its food" :)

My 6 year old is the peace maker of her gang. But how am I going to make her stand up for herself more often and with more strength. Its a herculean task for me now. She needs to learn to communicate effectively and relieve stress.

Thanks to this topic, I have more questions now than answers. But I realise I need to delve more on this and learn to create avenues for my kids to have a better EQ.

How to spruce up love life after kids!

This was written for one of the writing challenges in the wonderful wondermoms group on the topic of "Love".

How to spruce up love life after kids!
Life does become a tad bland when years pass by and you get caught in the domestics of the daily grind - career, kids, new house, budgeting and so on.

Looking back are yearning for your courting days, the romantic moments and the happy memories? Mind you, its never going to come back. The honeymoon days are over!

BUT, it does not mean you cannot have some romance in life now. It is time now to create some more beautiful memories. You and your partner now maybe are more matured, have more responsibilities and worries - but don't let the days pass by like that. Kindle the romance and make beautiful memories. Some ideas to make it:

1) Have dinner dates:

Remember the wonderful cozy dinners you had with your better half.. do that yet again candle light and all. Drop your kids at your mom's, inlaw's or perhaps your friend's place - you can return the favour for your friend some time. Enjoy the dinner without worrying about ordering the kids friendly food, maintaining the decorum of the hotel with the bawling kids and cleaning up the mess in your kids dress...

2) Have movie nights:

Same as above, enjoy a movie with your better half without taking bathroom breaks in nail biting scenes. Hold hands with your loved one in a romantic scene. Do it!

3) Couples vacation:

"When you have a vacation with kids, its not a vacation but just a change in location". How very true.
Enjoy a vacation with your soul mate sans the kids. This is easier said than done.
If a vacation is difficult attempt a weekend getaway. You will invariably have a guilt trip for leaving back the kids.. don't go that path. It is ok to have some time alone with your partner.

 If this is completely not possible, try to get your a support group to accompany you. Somebody you trust who will babysit your kid in the hotel when you take off with your husband to stroll in the quiet night.

4) Spice up the sex life:

Same person, same thing for so many years.... might get a tad boring. Use your imagination and spice up things. Gift "special"coupons on your anniversary. The coupons can be something kinky that your partner likes to do in bed and you are not as enthusiastic about it. Remember to honour the coupon when presented. Ask your partner's bed fantasy, see if you can make it happen.

All said and done, give some space and make yours. Love should not be stifling. Let go when needed but remember not to be a door mat. Enjoy!

Sydney: Vacationing with kids during Hubby's business trip

This is the first time we (me+kids aged 2 and 5) are travelling with my spouse on his business trip. I realized that this is an entirely different ball game. I have to manage/engage the kids for the whole day and wait for the evening for my husband to come back so that I could have some respite ;)

I loved Sydney. We spent 7 days there and here is what I did.

Hotel selection: As usual I pored over 100's of reviews to select 'Raddisson'. It was in a perfect location - close to bus stops, train station, convenience stores, super markets. I had got a good hotel-deal in Wotif.com and it fit  into our budget.
A good friend suggested http://www.stayz.com.au/ which had great apartments listed, unfortunately my trip was very last minute decision and I couldn't secure any good places.

Flight: It was a 8 long hours flight and I had booked a day flight. But blog after blog I was reading how parents glided over the trip in a night flight. I was quite scared on how it would go, but lucky me. There were a lots of empty seats and was quite comfortable. I had filled my daughter's cabin suitcase with puzzles and toys and they were handy.
Regulation on food stuff that can be taken into Australia is pretty strict and I had fully studied their website and bought some ready-to-eat indian curries. I planned to buy rice and dal locally if my kids needed it.

By the way, we had a lost luggage this time.. somebody had taken our bag and left theirs! Thank God I got the kid's bag intact... anyways after many flights, we do forget our first travel tips: 1) Packing one set of clothes in cabin luggage is safe 2) Tie a ribbon to identify our bags! Lesson learnt is its good to follow the tips 'always'.


For the Moms who vacation while on Spouse's business trip:

My tips:
1) Research research research...get an understanding of you hotel's location. Do your part in choosing what suits you well. A kitchenette will be really helpful... if not a microwave, a toaster or just a friendly hotel kitchen can help us a long way.

2) Take it really easy on the itinerary. You will not be on time, accept it.. and keep it simple.

3) There is no way you can get away being stuck indoors the whole day. Take the kids for a stroll if nothing else works out. A new place each time will be good.

4) Check out for any local parks. It might not be on a tourist list, but check what locals do to entertain their children. You might not be able to check off an item in your "to-see", but at least you will have happy kids.

5) It is my husband's nightmare that I will lose my elder one. Booo! But there is a real chance of it happening. Keep one eye on each child always! Make your child repeat your hotel's name over and over again.
I saw one TV show with a great idea of having a bead bracelet with your local phone number for the kid.

6) Avoid over crowded places, swimming pools if both kids are not good swimmers yet.. in short avoid places where you will not be able to comfortably handle the kids single-hand.

7) Carry some finger food, in case there are no good eateries.

8) Love the time alone with kids in a new setting. Its vacation and let the kids lead you!

Itinerary:
The Night we landed, ordered food from the room service. Slept well.

Day 1:
Had to wait ("waste") the whole morning because me and my hubby had nothing to wear. Thankfully the airlines passed our baggage late in the day.

We then did Manly beach. Bought our 'My Multi Zone 3' cards (very cost effective) which gives 7 days unlimited travel in public transport.
We had "Pavlova" - a heavenly 'Aussie/NZ' dessert.
Took a scenic ferry route to Manly beach. Water was COLD but children had loads of fun.
Children (mostly my son) had started to crave rice by then :(
Found an Indian restaurant "Ashiana" very close to the beach and fed the hungry stomachs.

Day 2:

Three sisters and the Jamison Valley

Being a weekend, it was my hubby's day off and we went to the 'Blue Mountains'. I suggest to stay overnight at this place if you have time. In our case we dint and we could not imagine exploring any caves or doing bushwalks with our 2year old. So, the next best option was "Scenic world" for us. We did the steepest railway ride (my kids loved it), skyway, cable way and appreciated the beautiful Jamison Valley. Some part of it resembled the Grand Canyons. My son by this time was on a "I will eat Indian only" kind of a mood, so again we had our lunch in one of the indian restaurants (they are plenty of them all over).

Steepest railways in the world...Do you see the train?

Day 3
Today was the rest day, so strolled around the city. Went to Hyde park (there was a family carnival going on then) and kids did some bouncy castle jumps. Then we went to St. Mary's cathedral (Wow.. is the word... there was a mass going on and it felt so peaceful). Correction - peaceful it would have been if I dint have children tugging at my dress, or if I dint have to worry about maintaining the silence inside the place! Dream on..!

Had ice creams, watched the world pass by, did some window shopping and ended the day feeling contend.

Day 4
Hubby was off to work and we started a relaxed day. I took the kids to Darling Harbor water play area and let them play to their heart's content. I had packed some pasta I made in the Hotel kitchenette. I really enjoyed this time with the kids.

Day 5
Being in Australia and not seeing Kangaroos? Nay! Off to Featherdale's - an completely Australian animal's park. Total total fun! My kids were up and close with Wallabies.. they seemed to be more receptive. The kangaroo's were lying down and were not bothered by us. So were the Koala bears... they were soooo furrrry! There so many new animals that I saw... did you know that Dingo is a dog that does not bark? I din't.. Next time when I play "Name Place Animal Thing" I will have a bit more choices for Animals!

Day 6
Time alone again - we went off on our own to the Australian Museum. They had a children's play area.. which was educative. The best was the Tyrannosaurus exhibition. I saw loads of fossils and was very informative..wish the kids let me spend more time 'reading' the information there. The audio visuals/Computer graphics were just great! Just realized that my elder one has started to warm towards Museum ... hurray!

When hubby was back we strolled to the Darling harbour and had a Pizza/Pasta dinner.

Day 7
Shopping alone with Children need not be a nightmare.... they seem to be ok as long as we are shopping for them !!! :S
Went to a souvenir shop and browsed and browsed... now a days guess I have become too thick skinned to keep wondering if my kids are a bother for the shop. As long as they don't break anything I am fine... and I am happy to find a shop with no other customers... Sales people are usually happy to baby sit and let me browse at peace.
Went for a closer look of opera house and had a relaxed evening with the whole family.

One point to remember is that most attractions and malls close by 5 pm in Sydney. After that all that is open are the pubs and restaurants... so its parks and other open areas for us parents of young kids.

Sydney was not on my "To-visit" list.. I was little worried that we were channeling our money on a trip that I was not so keen about... but I fell in love with Sydney... what a vibrant place. Seven days were so little to do any justice to Sydney... Hey hubby, when is your next business trip to Sydney? ;)

Delhi-Agra-Jaipur with Kids

Hi People! I am Recounting my vacation in the hopes that someone might find this useful when they are planning a trip to the Great Indian 'Golden Triangle'.

At the time of vacation my kids were 4.5 and 1.5 years old.The Details I have given about the places are dated Nov 2013. So, things could have changed. Double-check! Anyways with kids don't we always double check... phew!

The trip was a 7 day round trip starting from Chennai, then onto Delhi, Agra and Jaipur. We took a flight (Spicejet)back to Chennai from Jaipur and not Delhi . This saved from doing the road trip from Jaipur to Delhi (after I made sure there was nothing important to see in that route).

  As with any vacation I started planning at least about 2 months before. I always use Tripadvisor and Agoda reviews to help me decide the hotels. Agoda reviews are nearly 100% authentic, Tripadvisor has loads of bogus reviews either by mud-slinging competitors or by enterprising owners claiming they are better than Taj Group of Hotels! Usually reading a bit further will give us the true picture. We were travelling with my father and my domestic helper - So got a 4 bedded options everywhere. Btw, this was my third golden triangle trip, but the first one with my kids and husband.

Delhi - Day 1

Arrived from Chennai. Had booked a four-bedded room with HOTEL GRAND PARK INN in Karol Bagh. Secured a "free" airport pick-up - Its always hassle free to have a pre-arranged pick-up in a new city with kids tugging along.

         Staying anywhere in Delhi should be ok I guess, assuming you have booked a car at disposal for sight-seeing. I chose Karol Bagh to stay, as my accommodation in other cities were in quiet neighborhoods and I cannot go without zing for long ;) . We had a good South-Indian restaurant (Adyar Anandha Bhavan), traditional Delhi foods eatery "Bikanerwala" and "Aangan" (Take ur kids here to introduce them to Delhi foods - they have 100s of choices) and loads of road side shopping in the vicinity. Of course, I always feel good when I find fresh fruits stalls close by. Shopping here would involve extreme haggling (a skill that I lack!) 

Delhi - Day 2

             One problem with the Golden triangle is that the car drivers take you to shops where they get commission; be firm and let them know your itinerary. I was well informed about this, but then again ended up falling in this trap more than a couple of times in this very trip!

We visited 

1) Birla Mandir (Kids enjoyed running around)

2) Indira Gandhi House/Museum (Kids did not enjoy - probably bcoz it was too crowded for them)

3) Qutub Minar (My lil one was sleeping, so we let him have his rest in the car with my helper)

4) Lotus Temple (Just my hubby and elder one did it.. my lil one took his next nap in the car!)

5) Drove through India Gate and Parliment

6) Went off shopping in Ajmal Khan Road, Karol Bagh with hubby leaving the rest to take rest.

Can you guess who she is ? Clue: This was hanging in her grandmother's house

Our ex-PM's house

Delhi - Day 3

We started off with Redfort. I had liked it best in Delhi earlier and was looking forward to this... but... the car parking was a good 1 Km away (at least I perceive it to be 1 Km).. by the time we entered Redfort all of us were tired.. Never the less, it was not a disaster. After a while of exploring, the kids rested in the garden while me and my partner went off to do some clicking and more exploring. There are paid toilets in this complex and I did see some ramps (more of this below). While returning back, we could have taken a rickshaw as we were too tired to walk to the car park, but then we got our driver to pick us from the main entrance.

What a long walk from car park - phew!

Our next stop was Raj Ghat (Gandhiji's samadhi). My lil one was napping in the car with our helper. My elder one had fun running around and most importantly seeing hundreds of school children in uniforms. Of course, she relished being the 'cute little kid' to the grown up school kids.

       Last thing we did that day was visit Akshardham. I have always loved temples and I love them only when they are sprawling and when they are 1000 years old. So, I was not looking forward to visit a 5 year old temple... but man, I was blown away. The architecture was awesome! Must see!!!

Kids enjoyed here too.. There was a boat ride, laser show etc which I think a kid would enjoy...we dint see them as they were under maintenance then.

Delhi - Mathura - Agra -> Day 4

Taking a Train from Delhi to Agra was very tempting, but then we decided against it. Car seemed a better choice with our luggage and we wanted to do Mathura enroute. Liked the temple!

Did Sikandara fort then(we liked it, but you can miss this if you are seriously out of time). If you like any curios peddled by locals, buy them - should be cheaper than any showroom. Of course haggle first.

Sikandara - sprawling gardens! We saw black bucks, peacocks roaming about.

By Sunset we did Agra fort. Loved it! It was Number 2 monument for me after Taj Mahal.. but mosquitoes did scare me...there were huge masses of them. We used the audio guides here. If you have time and don't have kids tugging at you, its a great option.

Agra Fort - Its a wonder that mosquitoes have not lifted off this fort!

We then stayed this night at Sai Homestay, Agra. This was a two bedroom plus dinning hall kind of accommodation and it was home-like. Kids loved it.

Agra - Jaipur -> Day 5

This was the big day! We saw the TAJ MAHAL... every time we see it, its still awesome... but nothing can beat the first glimpse awe.. my hubby had it now and some of it rub on me too. No words can prepare you for the first sight of Taj mahal, let me simply say - "If you haven't seen it, See it".

We spent more than 1 hour in the main dome complex. We simply din't want to rush it. Kids loved Taj.

Guides "recommended" by drivers drag us around to remote corners for just one shop who would pay heavy commission to the guide. So, its better to take the official guides. Beware that all of them 'claim' to be official. Usually we could get an official guide while buying the entry ticket.

Enroute to Jaipur we stopped at Fatehpur Sikri. It was my 3rd time there, but just realized that I had not known that 'Sikri' - a sprawling palace existed there. Every time, the unofficial guides take you just to Fatehpur as they are not allowed inside Sikri...

Do you see the Ramps - they are a boon to people using strollers and wheel chairs!

Sikri - what an awesome place.. it has become my favorite right after Taj... I saw where Akbar Slept, the individual quarters of his three main wives including Jodha Bai, His Treasury, his entertainment zone, his official meeting hall.. man no words can describe the pleasure I had. Awesome p(a)lace...!
We had dinner on one of the road side Dhabas but the food was just so-so :( and the price pricey! During my last trip to Delhi, I had food in a road side Dhaba which was heavenly and cost peanuts.. so no luck on that front this time around.


Jaipur -> Day 6, Day 7

Here we stayed in "Umaid Bhavan Mahal" - this was a place modelled like a palace.. the next best thing if you can't really stay in a Palace. We got a 3 bedroom apartment and loved it.

Our hotel!

Day 7 in Jaipur we did the usual Jantar Mantar, City Palace Museum, Jal Mahal and Amber fort. Again we had a bad experience with a "free" guide suggested by our driver. The guide pushed us to visit some handicraft shops, while we wanted to spend more time exploring the monuments. We paid him off and got ourselves another "official" tour guide in Amber fort and loved it.
That night we went to Chowki Dhani - a must do if you have kids. The place is designed like a rural Indian fair complete with elephant ride, camel ride, horse ride, dancers, singers, handicraft stalls, etc etc. My daughter loved it and when asked what she loved the most about the trip, she mentioned this before Taj Mahal!

A maze we all loved playing!

Food - a typical Rajasthani fare, but my kids dint enjoy it :(

Overall a nice trip!

Cutting short my blog as I seem to be rambling a lot.. please feel free to drop me a line with questions regarding this itinerary.

Prices we had paid for tour guides, food, travel:

Take tour guides, they will make the trip worth it!

Redfort Official guide in unofficial price: Rs 150
Sikandra guide - incompetent guide: Rs 100
Agra fort Official audio guide: Rs 118 (two headset ports available; carry your own for your partner)
Taj Unofficial guide: Rs 300
Fatehpur Sikri Official guide: Rs 200 (we paid Rs 250- the official rate as we were happy with his tour)
Amber fort official guide: Rs 200
Jaipur City Palace & Jantar Mantar Unofficial guide: Rs 150-200

Food expenses for 4 adults and 2 kids per meal on an average was Rs 700-Rs750 (I had estimated Rs 500 - food prices have sky rocketed in India)

Car - Delhi Local Sightseeing per day : Rs 1800 (all inclusive)

Delhi-Mathura-Agra-Jaipur Package for Car - Rs 16,000 (all inclusive)

My Top 15 - Best cartoon shows that kids can watch

Hi there... after the last heavy duty post on "World's worst mom", this one would seem lame. Not. Watching TV has become the way of life whether you like it or not and there is no escaping it. So, you could benefit from this post if you need more options of what your kid could watch.

Make no mistake, I am not advocating that children should watch TV. They should be in the grounds playing with friends. Parents should be reading books to them... etc etc.

BUT, kids are hooked onto TV. If you can't stop it, at least let them watch programs which teach them something good. Soap operas or cartoon shows brimming with violence, sexism, extremist behavior are influencing your kid. Beware! Wean them off to other programs which are not as damaging.

Here are my tried and tested list of cartoon shows which are not hazardous to kids :)
If they don't come on TV, I usually let my elder one watch it on Youtube (and you get the TV :P). Its very important for the parents to watch their favorite cartoon together with the children, at least for few mins. Just to make sure you are ok with the views conveyed. Some cartoon shows are indeed quite unbelievable toxic junk.

The headings are the search tags that you could use in Youtube to get episodes of those shows.

1) Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

This will be sure hit with your kids. Its also an ideal show to introduce kids to the world of Cartoon shows.

Please note that I am not talking about the Mickey mouse that you and me would have seen growing up. I love them, but sometimes think that the content are bit mature! The new clubhouse series is more responsible.

Learning: Numbers and math concepts, team work


2) Word World

This is another great show for learning English. The show teaches phonics and how to build the words. The act of building words is so very well woven into the story, that the kids would not know that they are learning. But it takes a bit of time getting used to this and start liking it.

Learning: English, Rhyming words, Phonics

3) Sofia the first

This is our current favourite! One show where parents too would not mind watching. A true fairytale where a commoner becomes a princess. There is lot of magic, fairies, dragons and humor. The step-father, step-sister stuff are handled beautifully. Btw, the step mother is not evil!

Learning: Values, Values Values!

4) Handy Manny

This is another good show which teaches a lot of things and is interesting. Boys are likely to enjoy it more? My girl loves this - she has picked up couple of spanish words from this.

Learning: Spanish, Life lessons on plumbing/carpentering/electrical 

5) Timmy Time

This series does not have any dialogue, so if your kid is not watching cartoon because of being not able to understand English, then series could be used for the transition. The main character Timmy is very cheeky, so I would suggest this with caution. Hope Your kid picks up just the 'right things' that Timmy does. Watch a couple of episodes together and then decide what you want to do.

Learning: Orientation for playschool, Sharing & Adjusting with friends

6) Doc McStuffins

This is a great series to watch if your kid is sick or if your kid is afraid of doctors/hospitals/needles. I like this too. There are episodes about why your battery goes down without sleep, Why its not a great idea to touch other kids if you have pox etc.

Learning: Medicine, Body, Reduce aversion to hospitals

7) Hi-5

Another show that my kids love. This is not a cartoon show, but the five adults sing and dance and entertain.
Your kids are likely to become their fans!

Learning: Cultural concepts, Lots of stuff that cannot be taught through cartoons

8) Captain Carlos

There are lot of shows emphasizing good eating habits in the passing, but this show only does that full time and nothing else. The episodes are very very short (upto 2 mins). Invoke Captain Carlos if your kid is his sister Maria (a junk loving, vegetable hating kid)

Learning: Eat healthy

9) Super Why!

A very well crafted show. I have just watched a couple of episodes, that's the reason they are this low in the order. But its highly likely that I would place them in top 3 after watching few mooore episodes.

Aarthi, my good friend introduced this to me and Arushi!

Learning: English, Problem solving, will update later ;)

10) Can you teach my Alligator manners?

The title says it all. This is also one of the shorter episodes (3 mins). Shows which is the right behaviour.. shouting and creating a ruckus in the restaurant or behaving well mannered.

Learning: Manners

11) Lou and Lou - Safety Patrol

Its important that kids see stuff like this.  These also come in small episodes (3 mins). This series talks about what young kid can and cannot do. Examples would be 1) What will you do when you get lost 2) Kitchen do's and dont's 3) About wearing seat belts etc.

Learning: Safety rules

12) Dora the explorer

The reason Dora is so low in my list is because we don't watch it much. But I am sure every little girl is crazy about Dora. The few episodes that we saw had the usual good triumphs over evil themes. Some counting was also involved and so I could term it interactive.

Learning: Values

13) Jake and the Never land Pirates

If you ask my little girl she would probably rate this within top 3. This too is the usual Good triumphs over Evil series, where Captain Hook is always stealing something or the other and the quest is to retrieve the item. Why have I not rated it high, because I am  not happy about the 'negative'  characters. But don't let this comment bother you much. Its a good show!

Learning: Team work, Values

14) Sid the Science Kid

Thanks to Aarthi again... This is a series where kids can learn concepts about Human body, Weather and other simple science concepts. But some how my kid is not into this show yet, guess she understands that I am asking her to watch this over others so that she could 'learn' something!

Learning: Science

15) Little Einsteins

The show is a bit dry compared to others, but the learning and exposure is awesome. There is some new piece of famous art incorporated in the show each episode. Western classical music concepts are part of the staple.
Learning: Music, Arts

Special Category

This post should have been over with the previous item... but my daughter insisted that 'Peppa Pig' was her top favourite.. and I was not so keen on giving Peppa that.So, had to include 'Special category' to play fair. My daughter is addicted to this show.  There are some episodes from every day life that just would happen to your kid. Guess kids enjoy watching shows about themselves.

Learning: Slice of life.

I am the worst mom in the whole world!

This blog post is to give a 'feel good' factor to those moms (and dads) who feel they are not doing a good job parenting! For those of you who feel otherwise, this post might not be relevant, so see in my next post.

For those of you who are still hanging around, "I am the worst mom in the whole world"... I think its true... ok even if its not 100% true, I am indeed a worst mom. Pray, that this post be buried into oblivion by the time my kids learn to read lengthy posts!!

I recently met another Mom who echoed my exact sentiments that 'she' was the worst mom in the whole world... and I told her that I was her close competitor. This lady was who I thought went all misty eyed when she was clicking picture after picture in every angle possible of her little girl  who was learning ballet!

Partial list of why I am a worst mom

Because "sometimes" :

1) I like to have children free time. I happily send them to park while I am reading my books
2) I switch on TV for the kids to watch, so that I can keep them quiet and do my own work.
3) I am not overly concerned about their diet and let them eat whole lot of chocolates, cheese and other junk foods when they demand it.
4) When my elder one does not eat vegetable, I simply try a couple of tactics and let go. I worry that she is a vegetarian who does not eat any vegetables but do nothing about it.
5) I like to have some time alone with my husband, so I  frequently plot to get someone to babysit my kids. By the way, its an entirely different matter whether I get to do it or not.
6) I browse on the internet on "how to .." for the kids while they are throwing tantrums demanding my attention.
7) I spare just one ear to my daughter and say "mm.." "mm.." to my daughter's account of something until she asks why are I am just saying "mm.."
8) I dont apply oil/moisturizer to my kids and they run around all dry until my dad or husband points it out and they do the task.
9) Ok for this substitute "very rarely" instead of "sometimes" I beat my kid and try to get my point across. I dint have enough patience to let the moment pass. I strongly believe that hitting kids is showing power on the powerless.

After each one of the above happen I go through a "guilty" phase where I vow to better myself. But I end up doing it again... sometimes.

Some of you might be appalled by my list, others might have a couple of common ones, I do hope someone has a couple of "something more than the list" - if not "I am the worst mom in the whole world".

But the point is I love my children, its a protective feeling that I don't have to put words to. You know how it is. I would die for them; but also I don't want to ever leave them, only I can take care of them best - you know what I mean. If they are hurt bad, I do wish that it could have happened to me instead of them.

I just finished reading "The Casual Vacancy" By J.K. Rowling. There is a character Teri in this novel who is a mother to a 3.5 years old. She is a drug addict who loves her kid, but she is too deep into this shit. She is high while her drug dealer sexually abuses the 3.5 year old plus a loads of other depressing stuff. I believe that stuff like this happen in real life too. So, You and me would fare a lot better if indeed there were a list of "The world's worst moms".

I am writing the below after nearly 15 days of having written the above. Its not great been known as a worst mom. I want to be a "best mom" for my kids. So, consciously I have tried to workout some changes in my lifestyle.
I accept that its ok to have some time alone (or with just hubby) and I have decided not to feel very guilty about it. But I am also conscious that kids should not feel that I keep "leaving" them.

UPDATE:
The above was written on Aug 8th, 2013. I was too ashamed to publish it, I felt guilty seeing them.
Today is October 2nd, 2013. I have decided to go ahead and publish it. I have improved in taking care of my kids. I put "quality" time with them now (I understood what "quality time" means after I started doing them).
I was a fairly good mom with my first kid during her first year, when I did nothing else other than take care of her. After setting up my business, my attention to this important aspect of life went down. But fingers crossed, I think I am conscious now to be a better mom...

 To those of you, who feel guilty about not being great parents: I sincerely urge you to list down the things that you think are not doing right with the kids. Writing it down helped me a lot and hope it helps you too. I think I have realized where I could improve, where I have to change and where I don't have to feel guilty.

I am now trying not to be the "world's worst mother" and being fairly successful too. Cheers!

One lovely facebook post that I found:

Pajama Party: A way to entertain kids during summer holidays

Arushi's (my 4 year old gal) summer holidays are over and she is back to school. Phew!!!
It was damn difficult to keep her occupied (she has started to say "I am bored"). Idiot box is her treasure box and she is at it at every given chance.
I tried to be a responsible mother(?!) for a change and put my 'entrepreneur' stuff at back burner. Here are the things we did this summer:

1) Went swimming loads of times (taught her breathing in water)
2) Took her to our condo's play area regularly.
3) Went to Science center
4) Went to Snow City
5) Went to couple of Indoor playgrounds (She is crazy about them)
6) Setup play-dates with her friends
7) Covered obscure parks (I had wanted to see them for a long time)
8) Made weekly trips to library.

But the 'Pajama Party' was the highlight of all the things we did together.

The forest fire in neighboring Indonesia spew Haze like Hell in Singapore and all of us were stuck indoors. Imagine the plight of mothers when kids could not set foot out with Summer holidays in full swing!

So, I thought about organizing an indoor playtime for kids. Haze by then was down from being 'hazardous' and kids could now hop out for transit (but staying outdoors was no! no!)

Arushi and me came to know about the concept of pajama party from one of the library picture books.
"Sleepover" is a culturally alien concept among us Indians. So our 'Pajama Party' was just another party where everyone came dressed in a Pajamas (I take a bow!! bow!!thanks for the brickbats :))

Arushi was involved at every stage of planning and I could go to the extent of saying that we organized it together.

In case somebody wants to know how we planned it:

I was working on a budget of $50. Arushi drew up her invitee list of 12 kids (her classmates, my friend's kids and her neighborhood friends). Cleaning the house post party with 10+ kids was terrifying and so I spent precious $20 on booking the community hall in our condo. Anyways I guessed right that kids would love to run around.

We drew-up a menu:
1) Microwaveable popcorns (we had 3 bags at home - Nearly half of it was leftover after party)
2) Farmland Frozen French fries 2nos  (around $7)
3) Fairprice Potato Chips ($ 6)
4) Coke, Minute maid ($8) for adults
5) Individual carton Marigold apple juice for kids ($7)
6) Cupcakes (All ingredients were available at home - I am always bake-ready, but bake rarely)

I looked up internet for a couple of games and selected some music tracks. The kids enjoyed the following tracks:
1) Axel F - Crazy Frog
2) Gangnam style PSY
3) Hey Mickey Toni Basil
4) Un Duos Tres Maria - Ricky Martin
5) Tarzan & Jane ToyBox
6) Waka Waka Shakira
7) Who Let The Dogs Out Baha Men
8) Like to Move it - Madagascar

On the day of Party, we started baking early. It was my first attempt at Tutty-Fruity cup cake, so we did a trial first and then made the actual batch. Arushi then frosted the cake and decorated it with 'Hundreds and thousands'.

Pajama party then started with me reading aloud the story book ' Mala's silver anklets' by Tulika books. It is a story about a little girl who loves to scare everyone. That was followed by playing "Making scary noises" game.

We then played "Musical statues" where everyone has to dance to music. When the music is stopped everyone should freeze in whatever poses they were dancing. The 4 year olds were never into the concept of getting 'out' so I let someone continue the game even if they were a shaky statue.

The children were fully hyped up by then. We then played a game of sleeping lions. I had couple of bedspreads with me and the kids lay down on them. The idea is that everyone pretends that they are sleeping and my job was to try to wake them up. I dint do a great job on purpose. Other mommies needed time to fill up plates with food and serve them with no one running around!

I read them few good books while they were eating - "The tiger who came to tea", "The very hungry caterpillar" and  "Good Night, Gorilla"...

We then played a game of Simon says. I looked at this video for some tips on conducting 'Simon says' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RewIoHJ9RdM

The children came up with an impromptu game of dragon dance. It was loads of fun.

The school was reopening soon and we read the last story of the party - "I Love My School". This is a story of how a kitten overcome his hesitancy to go to school and starts loving school. It is written and published by me. Check out www.celebrationz.biz. I loved organizing this non-birthday party, please do leave comments with suggestions & ideas for my next holiday party!