Tuesday, 1 October 2013

I am the worst mom in the whole world!

This blog post is to give a 'feel good' factor to those moms (and dads) who feel they are not doing a good job parenting! For those of you who feel otherwise, this post might not be relevant, so see in my next post.

For those of you who are still hanging around, "I am the worst mom in the whole world"... I think its true... ok even if its not 100% true, I am indeed a worst mom. Pray, that this post be buried into oblivion by the time my kids learn to read lengthy posts!!

I recently met another Mom who echoed my exact sentiments that 'she' was the worst mom in the whole world... and I told her that I was her close competitor. This lady was who I thought went all misty eyed when she was clicking picture after picture in every angle possible of her little girl  who was learning ballet!

Partial list of why I am a worst mom

Because "sometimes" :

1) I like to have children free time. I happily send them to park while I am reading my books
2) I switch on TV for the kids to watch, so that I can keep them quiet and do my own work.
3) I am not overly concerned about their diet and let them eat whole lot of chocolates, cheese and other junk foods when they demand it.
4) When my elder one does not eat vegetable, I simply try a couple of tactics and let go. I worry that she is a vegetarian who does not eat any vegetables but do nothing about it.
5) I like to have some time alone with my husband, so I  frequently plot to get someone to babysit my kids. By the way, its an entirely different matter whether I get to do it or not.
6) I browse on the internet on "how to .." for the kids while they are throwing tantrums demanding my attention.
7) I spare just one ear to my daughter and say "mm.." "mm.." to my daughter's account of something until she asks why are I am just saying "mm.."
8) I dont apply oil/moisturizer to my kids and they run around all dry until my dad or husband points it out and they do the task.
9) Ok for this substitute "very rarely" instead of "sometimes" I beat my kid and try to get my point across. I dint have enough patience to let the moment pass. I strongly believe that hitting kids is showing power on the powerless.

After each one of the above happen I go through a "guilty" phase where I vow to better myself. But I end up doing it again... sometimes.

Some of you might be appalled by my list, others might have a couple of common ones, I do hope someone has a couple of "something more than the list" - if not "I am the worst mom in the whole world".

But the point is I love my children, its a protective feeling that I don't have to put words to. You know how it is. I would die for them; but also I don't want to ever leave them, only I can take care of them best - you know what I mean. If they are hurt bad, I do wish that it could have happened to me instead of them.

I just finished reading "The Casual Vacancy" By J.K. Rowling. There is a character Teri in this novel who is a mother to a 3.5 years old. She is a drug addict who loves her kid, but she is too deep into this shit. She is high while her drug dealer sexually abuses the 3.5 year old plus a loads of other depressing stuff. I believe that stuff like this happen in real life too. So, You and me would fare a lot better if indeed there were a list of "The world's worst moms".

I am writing the below after nearly 15 days of having written the above. Its not great been known as a worst mom. I want to be a "best mom" for my kids. So, consciously I have tried to workout some changes in my lifestyle.
I accept that its ok to have some time alone (or with just hubby) and I have decided not to feel very guilty about it. But I am also conscious that kids should not feel that I keep "leaving" them.

The above was written on Aug 8th, 2013. I was too ashamed to publish it, I felt guilty seeing them.
Today is October 2nd, 2013. I have decided to go ahead and publish it. I have improved in taking care of my kids. I put "quality" time with them now (I understood what "quality time" means after I started doing them).
I was a fairly good mom with my first kid during her first year, when I did nothing else other than take care of her. After setting up my business, my attention to this important aspect of life went down. But fingers crossed, I think I am conscious now to be a better mom...

 To those of you, who feel guilty about not being great parents: I sincerely urge you to list down the things that you think are not doing right with the kids. Writing it down helped me a lot and hope it helps you too. I think I have realized where I could improve, where I have to change and where I don't have to feel guilty.

I am now trying not to be the "world's worst mother" and being fairly successful too. Cheers!

One lovely facebook post that I found:


  1. Touched to see the honest confession Anu... I guess its the same feeling with all parents.. from what we see, we all are wowed by the way you manage things with such energy... Your kids sure are lucky a lot... If you call it as worst parent, i will make bloody long list than your whole blog :) but i know i always love them and i know i will change for sure.. You shouldnt feel guilty at all.. Infact people who does self analysis (which you just done) can never go wrong way :) cheerio !!!

    1. Thanks for your kind words Arvind.. really! I was so nervous about baring my soul over internet.. I still am. But I do feel better that I have put some energy into correcting my shortcomings.

  2. I believe if we have 9/10 points to list under "Bad mommy", we definitely have 90/100 points to list under "Good mommy".. I just have a 3yr old but I too do more than 6 listed above..there is no point being a perfect mom/good mom..The fact I have learned from the past 3 years as a mom is just to be a mom of a happy n healthy kid with no regrets..no matter if she s little spoiled..at the end of the day all I care more is If she was happy the day through.. Offcourse I feel little guilty sometimes, but I dont care enough on it :) And analysis is always better. I usually think a lot about things to be changed with dealing my daughter but have never thought jotting all down.This is a PROPER way of analyzing I believe..I have learnt something for this post today..so no guiltiness... :)

    1. Thanks for your insightful comment Janaki, especially that point about having 90 points to be listed under "Good mommy"... It is true and I feel good seeing that.