Pajama Party: A way to entertain kids during summer holidays

Arushi's (my 4 year old gal) summer holidays are over and she is back to school. Phew!!!
It was damn difficult to keep her occupied (she has started to say "I am bored"). Idiot box is her treasure box and she is at it at every given chance.
I tried to be a responsible mother(?!) for a change and put my 'entrepreneur' stuff at back burner. Here are the things we did this summer:

1) Went swimming loads of times (taught her breathing in water)
2) Took her to our condo's play area regularly.
3) Went to Science center
4) Went to Snow City
5) Went to couple of Indoor playgrounds (She is crazy about them)
6) Setup play-dates with her friends
7) Covered obscure parks (I had wanted to see them for a long time)
8) Made weekly trips to library.

But the 'Pajama Party' was the highlight of all the things we did together.

The forest fire in neighboring Indonesia spew Haze like Hell in Singapore and all of us were stuck indoors. Imagine the plight of mothers when kids could not set foot out with Summer holidays in full swing!

So, I thought about organizing an indoor playtime for kids. Haze by then was down from being 'hazardous' and kids could now hop out for transit (but staying outdoors was no! no!)

Arushi and me came to know about the concept of pajama party from one of the library picture books.
"Sleepover" is a culturally alien concept among us Indians. So our 'Pajama Party' was just another party where everyone came dressed in a Pajamas (I take a bow!! bow!!thanks for the brickbats :))

Arushi was involved at every stage of planning and I could go to the extent of saying that we organized it together.

In case somebody wants to know how we planned it:

I was working on a budget of $50. Arushi drew up her invitee list of 12 kids (her classmates, my friend's kids and her neighborhood friends). Cleaning the house post party with 10+ kids was terrifying and so I spent precious $20 on booking the community hall in our condo. Anyways I guessed right that kids would love to run around.

We drew-up a menu:
1) Microwaveable popcorns (we had 3 bags at home - Nearly half of it was leftover after party)
2) Farmland Frozen French fries 2nos  (around $7)
3) Fairprice Potato Chips ($ 6)
4) Coke, Minute maid ($8) for adults
5) Individual carton Marigold apple juice for kids ($7)
6) Cupcakes (All ingredients were available at home - I am always bake-ready, but bake rarely)

I looked up internet for a couple of games and selected some music tracks. The kids enjoyed the following tracks:
1) Axel F - Crazy Frog
2) Gangnam style PSY
3) Hey Mickey Toni Basil
4) Un Duos Tres Maria - Ricky Martin
5) Tarzan & Jane ToyBox
6) Waka Waka Shakira
7) Who Let The Dogs Out Baha Men
8) Like to Move it - Madagascar

On the day of Party, we started baking early. It was my first attempt at Tutty-Fruity cup cake, so we did a trial first and then made the actual batch. Arushi then frosted the cake and decorated it with 'Hundreds and thousands'.

Pajama party then started with me reading aloud the story book ' Mala's silver anklets' by Tulika books. It is a story about a little girl who loves to scare everyone. That was followed by playing "Making scary noises" game.

We then played "Musical statues" where everyone has to dance to music. When the music is stopped everyone should freeze in whatever poses they were dancing. The 4 year olds were never into the concept of getting 'out' so I let someone continue the game even if they were a shaky statue.

The children were fully hyped up by then. We then played a game of sleeping lions. I had couple of bedspreads with me and the kids lay down on them. The idea is that everyone pretends that they are sleeping and my job was to try to wake them up. I dint do a great job on purpose. Other mommies needed time to fill up plates with food and serve them with no one running around!

I read them few good books while they were eating - "The tiger who came to tea", "The very hungry caterpillar" and  "Good Night, Gorilla"...

We then played a game of Simon says. I looked at this video for some tips on conducting 'Simon says' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RewIoHJ9RdM

The children came up with an impromptu game of dragon dance. It was loads of fun.

The school was reopening soon and we read the last story of the party - "I Love My School". This is a story of how a kitten overcome his hesitancy to go to school and starts loving school. It is written and published by me. Check out www.celebrationz.biz. I loved organizing this non-birthday party, please do leave comments with suggestions & ideas for my next holiday party!

How to have a memorable Vacation with infant/toddler/kids

Kids thrive on vacations. Give them sufficient rest, on time food and some fun things to do...you all would be having the best vacation possible.

The days where one had to wait for kids to "grow up" to have vacation are long gone. Vacation with kids can be very enjoyable, only thing is - we need to be prepared. Research, research and do more research before travelling.

Things to consider:

1) Choosing a destination:

Roaming around ancient ruins or scuba diving vacations are very compelling, only thing is that it might be a tad difficult lugging your little one. Strollers are your best friends in a vacation, so choosing a stroller friendly city might be easier if you are travelling without a support system . Checkout for the best time of the year to go. You won't be caught in a stormy weather if you check this out as the first thing. If you are really scared travelling with an infant, choose some place familiar to you. That said most destinations are do able with kids with proper planning.

2) Choosing a hotel:

The hotel can make or break your vacation. Remember that unlike your child-less vacations, you are not going to be roaming around all day. Children need their rest and you will most likely spend more time in your hotel room than you would like to. So, research research research and find the most kid friendly hotel. www.Agoda.com and wwwtripadvisor.com are the best bets. Always remember to check under the "family" category and read reviews of people who "traveled with young kids". Renting out a hotel in a location which is in the midst of all the action will be helpful. You could head to the hotel for a quick nap and continue your touring without too much of a travel.

3) Itinerary:
Include your kids in your sightseeing plans. The zoo in your destination might not be a "must-do", but it might become be the highlight of trip to your kid. If possible include a shopping mall or air-conditioned indoors in the itinerary for the afternoons. It will help kids doze off.

4) Support System:

If you get along ok with your parents or parents-inlaw or someone else consider inviting them along too. They could help you with babysitting while you and your spouse can take the much needed time alone.
Some hotels offer the baby sitting services, I am unable to comment on them as I have not tried it. Please do leave your thoughts in comments section below if you have a say on this.

5) Travel light

I have carried rice cookers for a couple of times but not anymore. Kids usually find couple of things that they might like in the local menu.
You are bound to buy souvenir T-shirts and local toys. So, just pack less clothes than necessary. And... now is the time to forget packing 'your' extra sandals. You are bound to carry your kid around, so traveling light will ease your burden ;)

Research before you book:

1) Find a hospital/doctor near your hotel - Just in case of emergency.

2) Check if the hotel has anything to occupy your kid (a slide, a pool or a TV with cartoon shows)

3) A hotel may be ultra scenic with its lotus ponds and water features, but is it safe for your child who will run wild ?

4) Are there any supermarkets/convenience stores nearby in case you need something urgently? When I  stayed in remote corners with sparse civilization, I did stock up well from the last shop I could find. Stock up items: your kids favorite fruits, biscuits and drinks.

5) What do the locals feed their infants and kids ? For example, I found that Indonesians feed burbur (rice porridge) to their kids and I was able to order it for my kids at the very first restaurant we ate there.
Look for Indian/south-indian restaurants nearby, in case kids dont eat the local food with enthusiasm.

Things to pack:

1) Stroller - preferably a old one which you could subject to rough use. Most likely this will be the place of afternoon naps for most of the days.
2) Little of - Light snacks, cup-o-noodles/maggi or other readymade food items incase your kid takes time to adapt to the food there.
3) If your kid is still on bottle - Travel Sterilizer or Sterilizing tablets (I get mine from mothercare)
4) Bottle cleaning solution, kids soap/liquid/cream
5) Ubiquitous Diapers, of course your vacations will become more normal if your kids are off diapers.
6) Medicine for cold/allergy and fever. Some pre-biotics and Electrolyte sachets. Be prepared, a young kid is bound to have an upset stomach in a new environment - part of the game!
7) Depending on the destination, mosquito patches or raincoats or sweaters etc

My experience:

My first vacation with my Kid number 1 was when she was 7 months old. We drove from Chennai to Banglore (a five hours journey)... but we took 7 hours (the number of diaper changes en route were a record break). I was breastfeeding her and so the car offered me the much needed privacy.
Highlight: We went to some unknown reservoir and water was gushing out like a huge falls. My kid loved it and this gave us a High!
Not-so-highlight: Everyone in my travelling party were having a great time in Banergetta zoo, while I was just sitting with a sleeping kid in my lap ... motherhood! phew!

My first vacation with my Kid number 2 was when he was 7 months old too. Its was an ambitious 10 day tour in Bali. By now I was a veteran in travelling with kids and all of us ended up loving Bali.(Inspires me to write a whole post just about it).
Hightlight: When the little one reacted very happily rolling about the bed in our destination - I believe he enjoyed our trip.
Not-so-highlight: When my elder kid got one of her wheezing episodes. We were well prepared though and handled it effectively.

I do know that most of my blog readers are avid travelers who travel with kids. Please do share your tips in the comments section below. I am sure it will help me in my next vacation :)

When to have my second kid? Or should I have one.....???

This post is for those of you who are tossing with the life altering question "When to have my second kid? Or should I have one.....???"

Disclosure: I have two kids!

Now, lets get done with the second part of the topic... "Should I have a second kid ?"...
Well, I am an only child... for the those of you who have siblings, I can give you the first hand insight of growing up alone...
Growing up alone... oh man, this sounds very negative! But no...Life as a single kid is awesome, you get two sets of clothes for Diwali when your friends with siblings just end up with one dress, you get all the attention, you get window seats all the time AND You don't have to share your mom with anyone!

What did I miss as a single child... mm.. I don't know.. I could only guess!
But I remember an incident which happened during my 7th standard - One day my classmate who had a lovely long hair wore a big hairpin in the center of her head - it was a funny sight. When I enquired what happend, she mentioned that her brother cut a bunch of her hair while she was sleeping. She mentioned this as if it was the most common thing - she was not mad at her brother. She gave a half smile and explained how she had infuriated her brother before she fell asleep. That was the first time when I thought that being a single child was not a boon - maybe it was fun  to have a sibling!

Of course there were other times - the time when I realized that my cousin brother was an "own" brother to my cousin sister. But then I never regretted that I was a single child as a kid.

Is there any negative behavior that I associate myself with the fact that I was an only-child? Mm.. No!

I don't think I am a spoilt brat. I usually adjust to circumstances and am a no-complainer. Sharing is slightly difficult for me... I wonder how other girls enjoy swapping dresses with friends!

Bottom line is that your single child can grow up to be a normal and healthy human being without having a sibling!

My only point of advocacy for having a second child is "to create a support system for your first one".
Who will I have beyond my marital bond after my parents are gone. (God, Let my parents live long!!). I can hear many of you say friends and cousins...! Believe me they are not the same as having a sibling.

Every summer, every holiday I have spent with my cousins! I have loads of cousins...my best memories of childhood feature them. But all of us have sort of drifted away with our marriages, kids and careers. My kids know less of their second-cousins...and second-cousins are just not same as cousins :)

My friends...my gang of gals from college are the closest I have to sisters... We hang out together when we can and our children are friends with each other too. But..my friends have siblings and of course I am no equal to their sister or brother!

Just one incident which made me believe that one needs sibling was when my dad got hospitalized. Both my Dad's siblings and my Mom's siblings were the ones who took complete control when me and my mom were stumped. Of course, my dad's best friend was there for him. But weeks of staying and caring were done by the siblings. Just think for a second on whom you will call in case of an emergency... will your kid have someone to call on in case of emergency when she is old. For those of you asking what if the second child and your first born are not supportive of each other? Well, its our responsibility to raise them with a great bonding.

Your first born may have the greatest friends and cousins but if you want somebody to stand together with her/him after you are long gone.... then consider having a second child.

WHEN TO HAVE MY SECOND CHILD?

This is the easier part - as soon as you can :)

• With the current generation's marriage age averaging at 27, finish the job soon so as to reduce the risk of medical complications.
• Your parents are getting old too - they need to have the strength to pull you through another pregnancy and infant caring.
• 'Life before sibling and life after sibling is never the same', having a lesser age gap might diminish this memory.
• Practically speaking, for a easier pregnancy you will be better off with an elder kid who can walk on their own.

I have friends whose kids are 7 years apart. My kids are 3 years apart. Both has its own pros and cons.

Pros of bigger age gap is caring for the second kid becomes easy with the elder one being able to feed herself, bathe herself and so on. Cons being, the elder one might feel left out and uncared for even if they don't let it show. My friend still cribs about how his life changed upside down with his brother's arrival.

Pros of a smaller age gap is that they barely remember their life before the younger one, making them less hostile towards their baby sibling. Lesser age gap usually makes the siblings bond easier. Cons - your pregnancy is likely to be difficult. I would vomiting in buckets when my 2 year old comes to me asking to read her a book!

So, "when" is a question that needs to be tackled personally. Just a word of caution - don't delay deciding; it might just stop you from having your second baby.

Multi-lingual kids

I love languages. I love learning new languages. I love to speak to people in their native language even if it’s a simple hello or thank you -  I know they love to hear it. At the least, I feel happy when a non-tamilian says “Vanakkam” (Hello in my mother tongue)

My mother was a College lecturer (Dept of Homescience). When I was around 10 years (frankly I don’t remember the exact age, but I know for sure it was before I started having big time crushes on boys), my mom declared that “Kids by the age of 4 have the ability to learn 5 languages”. This was from somebody’s thesis for the subject ‘Child development’. I was so livid with her that she let me learn only two languages (Tamil and English) and I decided that when I have a kid that she (I was sure that I wanted a girl baby even then) was going to learn 5 languages by the age of 4.               

Now my elder one, my God’s gift – Arushi (she is a girl and 3.5 years old) is nowhere close to learning 5 languages. But I should say that she is good in two languages (Tamil and English), speaks few words in Chinese and loves to learn Spanish and Hindi.

Yesterday I was speaking with an acquaintance from my condo and she commented on Arushi being bi-lingual successfully. Her son refuses to speak his mother tongue and prefers English. Another acquaintance (we met at our condo playground) said that she was a Tamilian, her husband Rajasthani and that her children speak neither!

Now, I am not an expert on kids nor  I am being judgemental about letting your kids be mono-lingual. All I am suggesting is that if you are multi-lingual, it is definitely a great gift that you can pass on to your child. I am chronicling below on how Arushi started speaking both Tamil and English so that she can raise her children multi-lingual in case I forget how I did it or if I am not around with my free advice ;)

Tamil

Tamil is Arushi’s mother tongue and her father tongue too J. Both me and my husband love Tamil. We grew up learning tamil literature at school and really were very keen that Arushi too should experience the beauty of Tamil. So, we decided that we consciously make Tamil as Arushi’s  natural language. We speak Tamil at home always. Arushi’s grandparents (one-set) speak to her in Tamil only, the other set speak in both Tamil and English. So Arushi became good at speaking Tamil, though our relatives back in India say that she has a quirky accent.

English

Arushi did not understand much of English when she began pre-school at 2 years and I have to thank her school (www.greatbeginnings.com.sg) for helping her pickup English. I translated Arushi’s basic Tamil words (water, milk, etc) for the teachers on day one.

 Arushi used to watch ‘Disney Junior’ cartoon channel – it is highly age appropriate and teaches her values too. Her English improved dramatically from watching TV. Watch out of episodes of Word world. Of course, we reading books to her helped too. Definitely, her English standard is slightly below her peers’ from an English-only speaking family background. But as of now, we don’t bother much about this. After a long holiday (minimal English exposure) her English goes down, that’s when we decide to speak in English only with her for some time, but she invariably comes back to form.

Chinese

Thanks to her ‘lousher’ (Chinese teacher) at school. She sings Chinese rhymes, knows Chinese equivalent of fruits, body parts, actions etc. She forgets them during holiday if we don’t brush it up. So, we requested her lousher to transliterate the Chinese words in English for us and ran through it for a couple of times during the holiday. It’s sad that I don’t have any Chinese neighbours or friends who could build her vocabulary, but we do ‘youtube’ some Chinese rhymes. If somebody can recommend suitable Chinese cartoon shows or movies it would be great. I really wish that she gets an opportunity to stay in touch with this language.        

Spanish and Hindi

I was in Puerto Rico for 4 months before my marriage and I loved the Spanish language and picked up bits of it. I had couple of close friends who were very sweet (Sheila Sanchez - I love you!) and constantly helped me learn it. So, I would love to pass to Arushi my bits and pieces of espanol. Of course, Handy Manny is a huge help. (For the uninitiated, Handy Manny is a cartoon show which teaches Spanish). My Filipino part time maid chimes in too, I understand there are a lot of Spanish influence in their culture.

Hindi… mmm.. its my national language, but I don’t know to read or write. But I picked it from watching Hindi movies and the fact that most of my school friends are Muslims helped too. Urdu was ubiquitous during my school days. Anyways, Arushi has just started identifying the language. Most of her park friends are north Indians and I hope she does pick up some Hindi from them.

What if Arushi crosses age four without knowing five languages, mmm…I understand it is very difficult to achieve that unless you have five next door neighbours – all of them with kids her age – each of them knowing only their mother tongue and that they use it during play…!

We can pickup languages even if you get old… I know I can and I did. I had a friend by name Gopi, who picked up reading and writing Tamil from Tamil movie posters!!! Don’t ask me how he did it, I really don’t know….!!!

Mmmm.. I now know that Arushi has her entire life to learn languages! I just wish that I can rub off my love of languages onto her.

*************

Hey, by the way I have published two bi-lingual books. 1) My first Tamil-English Picture dictionary and 2) Palikku sellum Kittuvum Chittuvum.

My first Tamil-English Picture Dictionary

The first one is a picture book with both Tamil and its equivalent English word, Arushi learns a lot of new Tamil words from this. Eventhough her Tamil is good, she usually substitues English nouns (crow, tiger, one, two, etc). This book helped her Tamil vocabulary.
Arushi adores the second book. This is a story book of a Kitten's first day at school. This is written in both Tamil and English(Dual Language). We read this book either in Tamil or English depending upon her mood and whim! 
Visit www.celebrationz.biz for more details on the books.